


So, What Do You Want For Breakfast?

by MlTSUBA



Category: Suicide Boy - ParkGee (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety, Breakfast, Depression, Doubt, He just wants him to be happy, Hurt/Comfort, I tried ok, Love is scary for Hooni, M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Mildly Domestic Fluff(?), Overthinking, Pre-Established “Relationship”, Sleeping Together, Slightly OOC..., Soorim’s really affectionate with Hooni, and Soorim knows that, but he’s trying, in a wholesome way, maybe slightly OOC?, or something like that lol, waking up together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24521050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MlTSUBA/pseuds/MlTSUBA
Summary: Ironically, the first time he's breathless from something-This time in agoodway andnotsomething torturous like hanging himself, suffocating on air, or exerting himself too much in gym class-is the first time he feels he canfinally breathe.Wholesome hurt/comfort SooHoon for the soul~
Relationships: Jung Soorim & Lee Hooni, Jung Soorim/Lee Hooni, SooHoon, SooHooni - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 131





	So, What Do You Want For Breakfast?

**Author's Note:**

> Good morning SooHoon Nation! I’m back at it again with the SooHoon fanfics... This time I wanted to vent in a wholesome manner. Yes, yes, I know.  
>  _Mitsu, you’re always venting through your writing!_  
>  A good artist knows how to channel their emotions and express it through whatever means of creativity they desire. I just so happen to enjoy venting these kinds of feelings through writing scenarios, and what better than to share my work and contribute to a community than turning it into a fic!~ It might be odd for some, but to me I enjoy it. So what does it matter? ~~  
> I wrote this at 1-2 A.M., fell asleep, woke up and continued working on it at 4/5 A.M., and finished at 6. The tone visibly shifted from my writing at 1/2 vs my writing at 4/5, which I happen to find very interesting of a thing to observe. It goes from dark and anxious and lonely to something much warmer and wholesome and I promise there is very much a reason for that. 
> 
> ANYWHO, this isn’t about me. This is about Soorim and Hooni, of course! Who, I would like to add, might be slightly OOC due to both my exhaustion, depression, and also because I’m still not entirely sure I have their characterization down accurately. I do try my best, though.
> 
> As per usual, if there are any mistakes or things that need correcting, please let me know in the comments below! I always say it, but constructive criticism and any feedback is wholeheartedly and genuinely appreciated and taken into consideration by me. Comments are favored over kudos, but kudos are much loved and appreciated as well if you can’t find the right words to say haha. x

It's five in the morning when Hooni shuffles awake. Golden rays of light spill into the room and light up the small apartment. Despite his environment and being enclosed within the four empty walls that confined him daily like a cell, Hooni felt... warm. An odd sensation for someone like him. And not the kind of warm he usually felt during this time of year, spring shifting into summer- No, this was something else. A different kind of warm. Something not-so-literal. It was this kind of feeling that swelled and swirled in his chest like a crackling fire, something nothing else could replicate but- Ah. So he's being held.  
To his own surprise, Hooni isn't as surprised as he initially thought he would've been, waking up to a pair of arms wrapped around him, gently pulling him close to the warm chest of someone else. No, this was... Well, while it wasn't quiet yet what he'd consider part of his daily "norm," it was definitely somehow getting there. He wasn't complaining, he would stay like this forever if he had the choice- Not that he'd admit that out loud, though. At least, not yet. 

Hooni snuggles closer to the body behind him, closing his eyes as he buries his face into the arm under his head and wraps the arms of the other closer around his body. He hears the other let out a soft groan and then feels the way the bed sinks when the other decides to pull Hooni in closer for a tired hug. Hooni squeaks, a head nestling in the crook of his neck and left shoulder. 

"Hi," He's greeted with a familiar tired, scratchy voice. "H- Hi..." Hooni manages to whisper out past his flustered state. "You're so warm..." the other promptly sighs out. "It's just warm in here." Hooni mumbles. "I didn't notice." Hooni shuffles around for a moment before the arm above him lifts and Hooni turns around to face his partner. "Hi," Soorim greets softly, a gentle and loving grin taking over his features as he rests his arm back over Hooni's body again. Hooni's already visibly reddening, but he lifts a blanket-covered hand to hide half of his face as he stares at the blonde in front of him. Soorim lets out a quiet, breathy chuckle, flashing a fang as he carefully removes Hooni's hand from his cherry red face. "You're so cute." Soorim offhandedly compliments, his touch softening as he places his hand on Hooni's burning cheek. "..." Hooni stays silent, unsure of what exactly to say. That's just how it's been lately. "I- Hmn..." He goes to speak, then quiets back down and looks down to avoid eye contact out of sheer nervousness.  
"How'd you sleep?" Soorim's voice picks up, an attempt to spark conversation. "Fine, actually, I think..." Hooni glances back up at Soorim, whose eyes are wandering around the room before they meet his again in just a matter of a few seconds. Soorim smiles like a fool again, and Hooni doesn't miss the way his thumb caresses his cheek for a split second. "That's good! I'm glad! You seemed exhausted, you really should get more sleep. It's not good to keep yourself up so late all the time." Soorim nags. In the nicest way possible, of course. Hooni knows he cares, he's shown it a million times. He's said it few, but he knows nevertheless. Just like Soorim knows Hooni is trying his best. "I know." Is all Hooni can say in response, eyes flitting away for a quick split moment before returning back to the blonde. "Good, you should." Soorim states it like fact. Figures, Hooni knows Soorim just wants him to take better care of himself, especially considering Soorim isn't always there- Despite how much they both wish he could be. "I'm trying..." Hooni mumbles, but it's so quiet they both can barely even hear. His words don't go unheard, though, as Soorim seems to manage to understand just fine. "I know. I'm glad, thank you." His grin seems to falter for just a quick moment before shifting to something more... _Pitiful._

Hooni hates being pitied. He hates the look Soorim is giving him, so much so he sits up to avoid it. He breaks away from the feeling of warmth and golden sunshine. He doesn't want to face the darkening, empty feeling in his gut right now- the feeling of possibly being a burden to the _one_ person who seems to have ever actually even cared about him for once. It's too much for him to handle in one morning, so he stores the thought and feeling away for another time. He doesn't want to break down in front of Soorim. The morning had only just begun. 

"Hyung?" He hears from behind him, and feels the bed creak and sink as a figure approaches his shoulder. He's too far zoned out to give it much of his attention, though, as he stares off at the blank wall across the room in a sad, empty expression. "Hooni?" Soorims voice goes soft and gentle, as a careful hand ghosts his shoulder. "Are you okay?" He asks, clearly very worried. "Mmh. Yeah, I'm good." Hooni blankly states, eyes drifting down to the floor where two pairs of shoes are kicked off and lay in a scattered mess beside his bed.  
Memories of last night replay in his mind- Nothing bad, just soft, quiet moments between the two. Moments where Soorim just held Hooni in his arms and let Hooni cry, even though he wouldn't say what exactly he was crying about. He just kept him company, gave him comfort and support and whispered things like "it'll be okay, I'm right here" to him until he fell asleep in his arms. Nothing like he'd ever had before in his life, something so gentle and kind. It was strange to know he had that, and it was scary to know he could lose it. And what if it was his fault? Or worse, something beyond his control? That he couldn't even fix even if he wanted to? Like Soorim finding someone better, figuring out maybe he's not actually into Hooni like he thought he was, and instead found a pretty girl and wanted her. Hooni never had to worry about things like that before, but now that he had Soorim, the thoughts in his mind had him considering that what if, perhaps, this wouldn't work out, and Hooni was going to go back to being alone- Sad, lonely, constantly in a state of wanting to die. He wasn't sure he could handle the thought, and yet, here it was. All the possibilities presenting itself at the worst possible time. Sooner or later, Soorim would get tired of having to deal with him and his bullshit, right? It wasn't too far fetched of a concept. After all, Soorim had never understood what it was like to be in his shoes. He had never had to deal with someone like Hooni before, depressed and suicidal, constantly in need of reassurance and attention. Being with Hooni surely must've felt like a chore, and taking care of him surely must've made Soorim feel like he was looking after a pet. What if that's all Hooni really was? Just some kind of pet? What did Soorim even _see_ in Hooni? _Did he really see anything at all?_

Practically sensing the spiral down into his unhealthy mentality, Soorim pulled Hooni back to reality when he scooted up behind him, slipping his arms around his waist from behind him. Hooni slipped back to reality as a warmth pressed against his back and he felt the beating of another heart against him. His thoughts seemed to filter out down the drain, his heartbeat suddenly becoming the loudest thing his ears could tune into. The room faded back to gold as the darkness dispersed in mere moments. 

"Hyung..? Are you... okay?" Soorim asked carefully. "Um..." Hooni stammered, hands raising to his face. He buried his face in his hands in shame, unintentionally letting out a distressed cry. "Hm..." Soorim hummed sadly, unsure of what to do or how to help. The pang of sadness in Hooni's chest felt like if fires could light under ice cold water. Hooni couldn't help himself, tears welling in his eyes as his body started to shake. "I'm here," Soorim reminded, nestling his head between Hooni's shoulder and neck. Hooni cried out, heaving tears from inside, out. Hot tears ran down his face as he turned around in Soorim's arms and buried himself in Soorim's chest. "Do you want to talk about it?" Soorim asked quietly as he rubbed Hooni's back. Hooni sniffled, his body trembling under Soorim's hands. "I- Do you- What if-" he just couldn't find the right words to say. How do you even bring that kind of stuff up without overwhelming the other person? What if Hooni's overthinking and paranoid thoughts drove Soorim to realize how absolutely impossible it was to handle him and all his burdensome problems? Is it worse to keep it to himself, or is it worse to bring it up? He wasn't sure. He was really so conflicted, it hurt.  
“Talk to me, Hooni.” Soorim coaxed, voice low and soothing in his ears. There was a long lasting moment of silence, the only noise filling the room being Hooni’s sniffling. But then Hooni buried his face in Soorim’s shoulder, nestling himself in securely like a scared child or a trusting cat. “Just started thinking things.” He mumbled out, to which Soorim nodded and hummed to show he was listening. A silent communication of approval to proceed. “I don’t know, it’s... It’s not- It’s just...” Hooni tensed up, anxious and prepared to start crying again. Soorim carefully pulled Hooni into his chest, carefully laying back down with Hooni tucked in his arms, face buried in his neck. 

At first, it was quiet. Like Soorim was taking his time thinking, trying to figure out what to say. Trying to piece all of his words together like a puzzle. He ran his hands through Hooni’s hair offhandedly, just barely paying attention to the way Hooni both calmed down under his touch and leaned into it. “Hyung, I know it’s hard. I can’t pretend to understand how you feel. I can only imagine how scary it is to have thoughts like the ones you do. I know it’s hard to ignore them and tune them out, and I know it affects you. You’re always so sad, I’m always worried that someday something might happen to you because of the thoughts and things you have to deal with. I know it’s a struggle for you, I know it isn’t easy. But look at where you are and how far you’ve come. You’re still alive, you’re still here, you’re still pushing through. That’s gotta mean something, right? And I’m here, I’ve got you. I don’t know what’s bothering you, but I promise that I’ll do whatever it takes to make whatever you’re so scared of, go away. Because I’m not leaving you and especially not like this. I’m here, now, Hooni, you don’t have to deal with things alone anymore.” Soorim pulled back, staring at Hooni’s eyes intensely, hand placed on his cheek like earlier, gently caressing Hooni’s cheekbone as though he were fragile and made of glass. From Hooni’s angle, it almost seemed like Soorim had been crying, himself. Or perhaps he did, a little bit, already. But whatever the feeling, it was long gone now. Replaced by an expression of not concern or worry, but determination and complete assurance. “You- I... I want you to know that. Whatever you’re dealing with, you don’t have to deal with it alone anymore. You’re not alone. Not anymore. I won’t let you be, ever again. I’ll make sure of it.” Soorim clearly had some strong feelings about the topic he’d made up his mind about a long time ago. Hooni, staring wide-eyed and unsure of how to react or what exactly it was he was feeling, blinked a couple times to make sure the scene unfolding before him was real. When had Soorim even had the chance to consider such things? What had he thought about before that led him to such a conclusion he felt so strongly about and sure of himself for? 

“Um... Forgive me if this crosses a boundary or something,” Soorim quickly mumbles, half-way under his breath but loud enough for Hooni to hear. 

Before he can even register what Soorim’s doing, Hooni feels a pair of lips on his own. He instinctively shuts his eyes and tenses, hands quickly latching onto whatever part of Soorim is closest to him at the moment. He relaxes, easing into the kiss as he feels Soorim’s pulse holding onto his jaw. It’s a foreign sensation for the both of them, and neither know what the hell they’re doing, but they don’t care and they don’t _pretend_ to because they know that it’s just each other and there’s no reason to be so strange about it. They do their best to convey their feelings to one another, every thought and emotion running through each of their heads, trying so hard to make it make sense for the other- like their lips are somehow a translator the the unspoken words bubbling up in the back of their throats that they’re unsure of how exactly to go about saying them. Their lips mash together in an awkward connection at first, but they figure things out along the way and it’s a little less weird and a little less sloppy as they sort things out through the art of physical communication. Soorim kisses Hooni with an intense, dedicated passion, hoping he receives the message he’s trying to convey, and Hooni’s kissing back with the desperation of a fish out of water, scared of losing the air he breathes- Air he never had before until now, desperate to make the most of it because he’s unsure of when or if he’ll ever find something like this ever again. Ironically, the first time he’s breathless from something- This time in a _good_ way and _not_ something torturous like hanging himself, suffocating on air, or exerting himself too much in gym class- is the first time he feels he can _finally breathe._

Soorim and Hooni are red-faced and gasping for air when they part, too flushed and energized from the kiss to even function properly enough to be embarrassed as they pull back and stare at one another, bug-eyed and gaping. Soorim smiles dumbly, flashing a fangy grin at Hooni, who awkwardly musters up a nervous smile back. Soorim’s stupid grin only escalates into a hearty, loud laugh that warm’s Hooni’s heart again, just like earlier. Hooni, grin growing wider watching Soorim, can’t help himself from laughing along. It’s only a matter of seconds before the two are a cackling mess, tangled in the sheets of Hooni’s bed as well as each other. 

Soorim sits up, hair messy and wild as he yawns and stretches, rubbing his eyes. He peeks down to Hooni, who’s covering half his face again with his hand. He does a bad job at hiding his blush, because the color of his hand is way paler than the deep shade of red dusting his cheeks. But Soorim can’t find it in him to make fun of his failed attempt, and instead just nonchalantly scoops him up from the sheets and carries him over to the table in the middle of his apartment. Hooni’s got his whole face covered, bumbling incoherent flustered nonsense into the palms of his hands as Soorim sets him back down on the floor at the table. When he finally peeks his eyes out from behind his fingers, he sees Soorim standing in the kitchen, staring at the contents of his refrigerator. He catches his eyes and smiles that stupid fangy smile of his, before calling out. 

“So, what do you want for breakfast?”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I want to make it abundantly clear that my Suicide Boy fan works, as well as any other works I’ve written involving such sensitive topics, never ever _ever_ intend to romanticize or glamorize depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, attempts at suicide, paranoia, trauma/PTSD, and so forth. The reason I write so often on these topics is solely because I struggle with these things, myself, and as I had stated, a good artist knows how to channel their emotions, thoughts, feelings, etc, etc, and express it through whatever creative medium they desire. I happen to use writing as an outlet. If you struggle with these things, yourself, please do not let it go unattended. It is important that you take care of yourself and your wellbeing, both physical and mental/emotional. Struggling with these kinds of things does not make you weak, and it does not make you weak to reach out for help and seek it when you know you are in need of it. Seeking out help can be hard, but it is the first step of recovery and I can promise you wholeheartedly from my own experience, that it is worth wanting to get better and recover. I believe in you, and you are not alone. I genuinely mean that. 
> 
> But now that I’ve addressed the important things, we can proceed on as usual. ~


End file.
